How posh is your Christmas? Take our fun quiz! – HeraldScotland

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A family enjoying Christmas dinner. Picture: Thinkstock/PA
YOU can tell a lot about a person from how they behave at Christmas. I don’t merely mean things like generosity of spirit or whether someone is the biggest party pooper since Omicron. There are certain idiosyncratic tics that provide fascinating insight into socioeconomic status and background.
Not sure what I mean? Richard Osman, the creator of Pointless and bestselling crime author, tweeted a few years back: « The issue of class, of where we all fit, and the boundaries that separate one class from another, are so complex and multifaceted. But basically, it all boils down to this. The later you open your presents on Christmas Day, the more middle class you are. »
He is not wrong. This isn’t an incendiary attempt to spark Class Wars: Yuletide Edition, but few things so openly lay bare our tribes than festive traditions. As we proceed, please take this quiz in the light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek manner it is intended. How posh is your Christmas? Let’s play!
Date dictators
Who needs an Aga or wood-burning stove when you can bask in the smug glow of decreeing when other people can and can’t string up a few fairy lights?
READ MORE: Susan Swarbrick: Modern Christmas is rubbish. Bring back Woolworths … 
If you bashed out a terse, all-caps response, « TOO SOON! » to a social media post about someone putting up their decorations on December 1 – or heaven forbid, sometime in November – rather than wait until 12 days before Christmas, then give yourself two points.
Picture the scene: M&S mulled wine. Fortnum’s Mince Pie & Marmalade Gin Liqueur. Homemade organic eggnog. A Range Rover boot packed to the rafters with cases of Waitrose claret. One point for each.
Present opening
As Osman says, the later you open your gifts, the posher you most likely are. Top marks if you plump for stockings only on Christmas morning and then proper presents after lunch.
The only exception to this rule is the Royal Family who are so posh they open their presents on Christmas Eve. You might think this is early but, in fact, they have waited a whole year to open last year’s gifts. (I jest: it’s to honour their German heritage, of course).
HeraldScotland: What time of day do you open Christmas presents? Picture: iStock/PAWhat time of day do you open Christmas presents? Picture: iStock/PA
A giddy mix of culinary one-upmanship meets food porn. Example: These are not just any Brussels sprouts; these are Brussels sprouts luxuriating in cream and lardons and chestnuts and a sprinkling of magic reindeer dust fresh from the North Pole.
READ MORE: Susan Swarbrick: Netflix romcom A Castle For Christmas isn’t all bad. Oh wait …
It wouldn’t be a posh Christmas without a cheeseboard groaning with such excess that even Henry VIII might consider it a tad OTT.
Bonus points: you sourced a rare, artisan wheel of brie made from goat’s milk only found on a remote mountain in Peru.
Parlour games
Forget Twister, Jenga and Monopoly, if you aren’t playing Charades or Are You There, Moriarty? then you are simply not posh. One point.
Well, that wraps 2021 for me. Merry Christmas to you and yours. I’m off to Aldi.
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